Having finished Chapter Two rewrites, I shift my focus to Chapter Three.
When I began these rewrites, I had a definite goal in mind: improve the first two chapters to have better narrative grip and get the audience invested. After my first round of beta reads, I found that most people got stuck on the first two chapters, but by the end of Chapter Two and especially the end of Chapter Three, they got hooked and sped-read through the rest of the novel.
Now, as I move into edits on Chapters Three and Four (my last substantial rewrites before I jump into some selective scene rewrites for better set-ups) I'm not as clear on what needs to be fixed.
So, for this writing session warm-up, I decided I'd write out my stream-of-conscious planning and show you a bit of what it's like inside my brain as I edit. This will probably get very messy.
Ladies and gentlemen, a peak behind my shabby curtain.
- Go through and add the new epigraphs to each of the chapters in the base document?
- Rewrite the beginning of ch. 3 to be more hooky
- maybe make the first line into a stand-alone? I know I do this a lot and I don't want every chapter to begin with a first line, but I think it grabs the reader's attention.
- Trim the lead-up to the festival, maybe make Bartus more anxious to leave.
- Focus more on the negative emotions of entering the festival; maybe some people who speak unkindly to Bartus? Or maybe just do this in passing, a single paragraph. Show that there are also some good people. This is a transition chapter, so make it snappy. We only want to talk to Vandral, until Iantha shows up.
- For Iantha, just revise this to get the feelings better
- Better descriptions for the festival, make it a scene! Feel homey and festive, like a warm memory of simpler times. Nostalgia is what we're going for here
- Smooth out the abrupt transitions towards the end of the chapter
- Consider ending on a danger-note rather than a happy-note to pull readers onward!
- Change Iantha's descriptions to really highlight Bartus' attraction to her in a simple way (not staggeringly beautiful, rather homely, but he's attracted nonetheless)
- Maybe have Iantha smell like tomato leaves (great smell)
- Get the audience more ready for Bartus to return to her
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Change to have Iantha say that she has something for him at the end of their dance, so they don’t have to stop and talk again. Condense condense condense!